PHP has been around for almost as long as the Web. 25 years! Join me for a fun look at the highlights (and lowlights) of this crazy trip. But I will also be trying to convince you to upgrade your PHP version. The performance alone should be enough, if not, I have a few other tricks up my sleeve to try to win you over. Performance optimization, static analysis, zero-cost profiling, dead code elimination and escape analysis are just some of the concepts that will be covered.