Making PHP applications fast at scale is hard! As the saying goes, "Make it work, make it right, make it fast". Having worked with PHP and SQL at scale in the range of billions of data sets, I'll share some tips and tricks that I have learned that you can take and try out to tackle making an application scale to size. Learn about various strategies and patterns that may or may not be intuitive, including database denormalization, chunking, caching, workers, optimizing SQL statements, and indexes. Jump into some statistics of PHP function benchmarking to see what scales and what does not for a little trivia game of "Will It Scale?".

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Great talk covering a lot of approaches to optimizing your PHP application to function better at scale. I will begin load testing my apps against 20 quadrillion ants! ^_^

Thanks for the talk. It had some good details that were new to me but I think the examples could be a little clearer.

Lots of interesting information.

Greg Fox at 14:54 on 24 Apr 2024

Great talk, clearly coming from experience. I do wish some of the slides were a bit larger to be able to read.

Good talk. Nice tips on speed and thinking ahead. Make it work, make it right, make it fast. Spot on.

Myles Hyson at 10:31 on 25 Apr 2024

Great practical tips for scaling a php application.

Jack Naughton at 14:32 on 25 Apr 2024

Super helpful overview of speed-up techniques.
Gave me a couple topics to dig deeper into

Omni Adams at 16:48 on 25 Apr 2024

Great talk about things to think about when counting ants (or really anything else at scale). The text on most of the slides could be bigger.